But here’s what I noticed, while walking across my office floor, after I had been at work for about an hour and fifteen minutes:

SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

In my defense, they are technically the same shoe with a different “style” so the soles and heels are identical and they FEEL identical?

…But that’s a pretty weak defense.

Fortunately, I had actually packed a different pair of shoes to wear for New Year’s, so I put those on:

WIN.

The only trouble here, as I sit at my desk ruminating about the end of the day, is trying to decide whether to wear the mismatched but comfortable shoes to commute, or the matching but not really conducive to carrying heavy luggage full of booze.

MY LIFE IT IS A COMEDY OF ERRORS.

<3

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Somehow, this prompted the statement, I don’t know if it was mine or my mother’s, that only Bad Santas shop at the Dollar Tree.

This has only escalated over the last few weeks into threats that Bad Santa is coming to visit, followed by plaintive cries of “NO BAD SANTA!!” Or alternatively “ONLY GOOD SANTA.”

As Bad Santa shaped into a figure of myth and legend at the Fougner Family Barn, he developed an origin story which involved him being Good Santa’s younger brother who was always overshadowed by his more successful older brother, Good Santa, and I think he was raised by his evil aunt and uncle in a cupboard under the stairs, because that’s not anyone else’s history. Anyway, Bad Santa’s job is to bring horrible presents to all the naughty boys and girls.

GUESS WHO CAME TO OUR HOUSE THIS YEAR? WE MUST HAVE BEEN VERY BAD.

Bad Santa comes on Christmas Eve before everyone goes to bed. He brings a dead tree and decorates it with old rags to make it look like snow. He brings gifts like gopher traps, fly paper, and paper towels:

I know lots of people are posting their exciting hauls of Christmas gifts, but I CHALLENGE ANY OF YOU TO TOP THIS:

1) Off-brand disposable dental floss pics.
2) A night light without a light bulb.
3) A pack of four fly catchers.
4) A 16 oz bottle of Ajax soap
5) Two disposable aluminum foil cake pans.

YEAH. BEAT THAT BAD SANTA LIST.

When we woke this morning, there was another Christmas Miracle! In the night, the Magical Bad Santa Hat had appeared atop Bad Santa’s tree!

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That is all.

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That is all! Have a very happy Christmas if you celebrate it, and a joyous Weekend In Ghosttown if you do not!!

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The other day, I got this huge box. It was large and I was not expecting a box. Now, given the nature of my work, sometimes, getting boxes means that I’m getting a particularly zany submission. So my first reaction was “UH OH.”

But then I looked at it and it was addressed to me directly and not to “submissions editor.” And the “from” label was something about beverages. Beverages! Had I ordered something from Cocktail Kingdom and forgotten about it?

Then I noticed that it was posted from Chicago. And I remembered that karnythia had said something about sending me some mead.

WIN. This stuff is coming to Connecticut with me this weekend. One of them is a bottle of Chocolate mead and one is a bottle of hibiscus.

So then just a little while ago, I get ANOTHER PACKAGE. ANOTHER, IN THE SAME WEEK, YOU ASK.

GOD YES.

I was still not expecting a package but this one was a little easier to put together because the “from” address on the package was “ALEPH AND BETH.”

I opened the box.

GIANT CORNUCOPIA OF SWEDISH CANDIES.

In short, YOU PEOPLE ARE AWESOME AND NOW I HAVE MEAD AND CHOCOLATE.

Seriously, I have the best friends ever from the internet. <3

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But the

And since we

Let it

Let it

Let it

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So I got up this morning, my mother and I picked all the vegetables that were ripe to pick and at risk of being destroyed, and we have this incredible bounty of stuff to pickle and make jam from– there’s going to be a LOT of grape jam, yessiree bob, since there aren’t enough grapes to make wine and we really had to get them off the vines.

We weighted down the beehives so that they would be secure in the wind (we hope!) and moved the chickens into a storm pen in the stable, although as soon as we did it (in torrentially pouring rain this morning), the rain died down and now the chickens are angry they’re indoors. OH WELL, CHICKENS. IT IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

liret, I should mention, helped build the storm pen, so I took some pictures so she can see it in action:

My grandparents down in Delaware have been evacuated because there is a tornado watch in their town. My cousin brought them up to her house which is outside the evacuation zone…of all the things in the house to save, my grandfather insisted on bringing his beer with him. Now you know where I get it from. My aunt is in a shelter at the local school.

I am mostly just worried about the garden and the animals at this point. Planning for possible loss of electricity and copious abuse of my liquor cabinet. We have tons of food and tons of water. I brought a whole bunch of books, too. The news out of NYC sounds like everything is shut down and I sort of wish I were there to see all the fancy department stores with their windows boarded up. It also sounds like the mass transit may not be back up on Monday, so I don’t feel bad about the fact that I was sort of expecting I might not be able to get into work.

Love to everyone! I have my phone and my mother’s iPad well-charged so if the electric goes down and we need to get a message out, we’ll figure it out.

I leave you with my pre-hurricane breakfast:

ETA: If you are in New York and can volunteer, here are some ways to help via an email from Assemblyman Paul Newell:

2) The Mayor’s Office is looking for volunteers to staff the evacuation/hurricane centers at Seward Park HS (Grand St. & Ludlow St) and Baruch College (E. 24th St. & Lexington). They are asking for any willing volunteers that live in these areas to please help out if they can. Any hours today would be greatly appreciated. Overnight staffers are particularly important. Anyone interested in helping during this difficult time, please contact Leland M. Dyer at 347-844-3309 or via email at LDYER@CITYHALL.NYC.GOV.

3) The city needs volunteers (preferably in four hour shifts) from now through Monday. They would be especially grateful to those willing to volunteer for the Sunday shifts. The 311 facility is located on Maiden Lane and Williams street in Lower Manhattan and the 311 staff will provide training. If you can volunteer, please email Christie Huus at chuus@cityhall.nyc.gov. You can also fill out the city’s volunteer form at http://bit.ly/nycvolunteer.

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I don’t have as many pictures from Friday, because there was more eating and less photographing! Here are some things!

We started off at Kerbey Lane for breakfast, where I had peach-pecan pancakes. These were thick, light, fluffy, delicious pancakes! Nom!

Then, Katie took me to Barton Springs! She had explained Barton Springs to me on AIM before I got there, and told me to bring a bathing suit (which was a feat for me, and the only one I had was letting quite a bit of boobage spill out, but hey. Whatever she explained, I was not prepared for this place, which was kind of awesome and amazing.

It is half pool! It is half lake! It is a spring-fed swimming pool with seaweed on the bottom! CRAZY STUFF. It was also super cold and I kept getting seaweed in my hair which made me feel like a mermaid. Anyway, I also discovered that my upper body strength is not what it was. Man, I am a wussy. I couldn’t really tread water for very long, so I kind of hung around at the edge for a lot of the time, but it was still awesome A+ would swim again.

Then we went out for ice cream, but I totally forgot to take pictures of that. Boo. I thought I had taken a picture! Apparently not. And we went back to Katie’s and chilled with Rufus and Mishka and watched a bunch of Animaniacs, which was awesome, because I haven’t seen it since it was on the television box!

I ate the other candy that I bought at Big Top:

It’s called a Maple Bun! It was all maple flavored and peanutty, and much more delicious than the Idaho Spud. Win!

Then we got all dressed up and went downtown. There is a building which Katie told me the name of, but which I promptly forgot because she told me someone told her it looked like Totoro.

Then we went to a lovely restaurant called Peche, which was an absolutely divine bar. They had a really nice cocktail selection, plus absinthe fountains and a selection of close to twenty absinthes (17, I believe) to choose from. Katie got absinthe the traditional way; I got an absinthe cocktail. After a very nice whiskey drink. And the lovely bartender gave me two drinks for my birthday! We got dinner too– I got an absolutely scrumptious salad with sweetbreads and boudin and a beautiful runny egg on top. SO GOOD. Katie’s friend Clare met up with us, too, and she was awesome!

We went home and to bed pretty early– it was a long day and Saturday was going to be another one!

Also: rosefox made her first contribution to nommable today! Read it and look at the lovely pictures here.

I also posted a new post on how to make simple syrups out of candy! Read it here!

Delicious!

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