I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. It’s part of a philosophy I espoused a long time ago that setting goals can get in the way of living life.
Sure, goals can be good for some things. They’re important for business plans and for progress on specific projects, but for me, personally, I find that I end up focusing too much on things I once wanted to the detriment of new and more exciting things that may pop up onto the horizon when I least expect them.
The last year has been a combination of things I wanted and got (I lost twenty pounds, I managed to keep my apartment impeccably clean for approximately six months, I read an amazing number of books [for me] and I wrote tens of thousands of words) and things that I never saw coming (I made amazing new friends, I ended up getting a second job doing something I love with people I love that has transformed my life for the better in uncountable ways). Of course, there were things I wanted and didn’t get, and things I never saw coming that turned out to be bad, but hey, you take what you get, and I did get a lot of adventures and excitement and joy.
Anyway, one of the things I did last year that worked out really well for me was that I offered to help my friends with their resolutions. Just because I don’t make them for myself doesn’t mean that they don’t work out well for other people, and offering to help other people with theirs means that I end up learning new things and having adventures that I didn’t plan for myself. It also means that I end up fostering and building on some amazing relationships in ways that have really defined my year.
For example, last year, Connie wanted to get into better shape. I offered to go walking with her once a week to help her have an impetus to get out and get exercise where she’d feel more of a push to go because she would have a commitment to a person in addition to an activity.
We have gone walking almost every week for a year now. We’ve only missed it for holidays, vacations, and sickness. Even in inclement weather, we go to an indoor shopping center and walk there.
And the most important part of this for me is that Connie and I have become very good friends. We share a lot of things, we know about each other’s lives, and in general have a much stronger relationship than we had a year ago. And that’s amazing, and that is what I want more of in my life.
So, I will ask you now: if there is a thing that you want to commit to this year as far as your own resolutions, and there is a way I can help you, support you, or join you in it, please ask or tell me. And I will see what I can do to make that happen.
Happy 2013 to everyone! I love you!