But here’s what I noticed, while walking across my office floor, after I had been at work for about an hour and fifteen minutes:

SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

In my defense, they are technically the same shoe with a different “style” so the soles and heels are identical and they FEEL identical?

…But that’s a pretty weak defense.

Fortunately, I had actually packed a different pair of shoes to wear for New Year’s, so I put those on:

WIN.

The only trouble here, as I sit at my desk ruminating about the end of the day, is trying to decide whether to wear the mismatched but comfortable shoes to commute, or the matching but not really conducive to carrying heavy luggage full of booze.

MY LIFE IT IS A COMEDY OF ERRORS.

<3

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Somehow, this prompted the statement, I don’t know if it was mine or my mother’s, that only Bad Santas shop at the Dollar Tree.

This has only escalated over the last few weeks into threats that Bad Santa is coming to visit, followed by plaintive cries of “NO BAD SANTA!!” Or alternatively “ONLY GOOD SANTA.”

As Bad Santa shaped into a figure of myth and legend at the Fougner Family Barn, he developed an origin story which involved him being Good Santa’s younger brother who was always overshadowed by his more successful older brother, Good Santa, and I think he was raised by his evil aunt and uncle in a cupboard under the stairs, because that’s not anyone else’s history. Anyway, Bad Santa’s job is to bring horrible presents to all the naughty boys and girls.

GUESS WHO CAME TO OUR HOUSE THIS YEAR? WE MUST HAVE BEEN VERY BAD.

Bad Santa comes on Christmas Eve before everyone goes to bed. He brings a dead tree and decorates it with old rags to make it look like snow. He brings gifts like gopher traps, fly paper, and paper towels:

I know lots of people are posting their exciting hauls of Christmas gifts, but I CHALLENGE ANY OF YOU TO TOP THIS:

1) Off-brand disposable dental floss pics.
2) A night light without a light bulb.
3) A pack of four fly catchers.
4) A 16 oz bottle of Ajax soap
5) Two disposable aluminum foil cake pans.

YEAH. BEAT THAT BAD SANTA LIST.

When we woke this morning, there was another Christmas Miracle! In the night, the Magical Bad Santa Hat had appeared atop Bad Santa’s tree!

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That is all.

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That is all! Have a very happy Christmas if you celebrate it, and a joyous Weekend In Ghosttown if you do not!!

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hogwarts_elite

That is earrings, courtesy of pixycat! Who also happens to be my newest addition to my friendslist, so EXCITING ABOUT THAT. Thank you so much!

I’ve also been having some good conversations with Mere today. They go like this:

Mere: (3:15:53 PM) why does my sinus cavity hate me?
Tea: (3:16:20 PM) because when adam and eve defied god in eden, he punished them by creating sinuses
Mere: (3:16:51 PM) oh ok
Mere: (3:36:32 PM) that was a poor move on their part
Tea: (3:36:38 PM) yeah
Tea: (3:36:44 PM) they shouldn’t have eaten that apple
Mere: (3:37:04 PM) slash pomegranate
Tea: (3:41:55 PM) yes
Tea: (3:42:23 PM) but see pomegranate was the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. apple was the fruit of the tree of sinus headaches.
Tea: (3:42:47 PM) little known fact
Mere: (3:46:00 PM) oh, very interesting
Mere: (4:46:51 PM) also, dogs make the worst secretaries
Tea: (4:47:45 PM) well after crocodiles
Mere: (4:48:45 PM) yes
Mere: (4:48:53 PM) but they are very bad at their jobs.
Tea: (4:48:59 PM) yes
Mere: (4:49:06 PM) they either sleep on the job
Mere: (4:49:18 PM) or they are trying to hand me their angry bird toy
Tea: (4:49:35 PM) that is an important task for a secretary
Mere: (4:49:40 PM) crocodiles have the decency to try and eat you
Tea: (4:49:42 PM) if you are the secretary of angry birds toys
Mere: (4:49:49 PM) yes, true
Tea: (4:49:55 PM) yes but they eat the files too
Mere: (4:50:13 PM) but they are effective paper shredders
Tea: (4:50:17 PM) true
Tea: (4:50:24 PM) it’s just that they also shred the desk
Tea: (4:50:32 PM) and the copy machine
Mere: (4:50:43 PM) so they’re a bit overzealous
Tea: (4:50:50 PM) yes
Mere: (4:50:55 PM) they have a true puritan work ethic
Tea: (4:50:56 PM) they like their job too much
Tea: (4:51:08 PM) they should really take some vacation
Mere: (4:51:28 PM) yes, so that they don’t get burned out
Mere: (4:51:39 PM) or in their case, dull
Tea: (4:52:33 PM) there is nothing worse than a dull crocodile
Tea: (4:52:40 PM) except maybe a dog secretary
Tea: (4:53:21 PM) we have had some good conversations today. do you mind if i post them to lj to share?
Mere: (4:53:35 PM) please do
Tea: (4:53:39 PM) hooray
Mere: (4:54:00 PM) i expect the harvard business journal would be interested to hear our managerial perspective
Tea: (4:54:06 PM) i agree
Mere: (4:55:03 PM) secretary #2 is licking himself. sigh.

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Now, there are two things to consider about the arrival of this box.

1) I have never been sent flowers at work. I have been sent flowers on a couple occasions, but not in over ten years, and never, ever at work.
2) I was out on Friday, playing tourguide. So this box had been sitting here for at least three nights. I was very worried that it would be ruined when I opened it, that whatever was in it had wilted over the weekend.

When I opened it, this was inside:

with a note implicating whirled in its delivery.

It also came with lights, but I thought that might be a little much for the workplace. Maybe I should put them around my computer monitor :-P

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The other day, I got this huge box. It was large and I was not expecting a box. Now, given the nature of my work, sometimes, getting boxes means that I’m getting a particularly zany submission. So my first reaction was “UH OH.”

But then I looked at it and it was addressed to me directly and not to “submissions editor.” And the “from” label was something about beverages. Beverages! Had I ordered something from Cocktail Kingdom and forgotten about it?

Then I noticed that it was posted from Chicago. And I remembered that karnythia had said something about sending me some mead.

WIN. This stuff is coming to Connecticut with me this weekend. One of them is a bottle of Chocolate mead and one is a bottle of hibiscus.

So then just a little while ago, I get ANOTHER PACKAGE. ANOTHER, IN THE SAME WEEK, YOU ASK.

GOD YES.

I was still not expecting a package but this one was a little easier to put together because the “from” address on the package was “ALEPH AND BETH.”

I opened the box.

GIANT CORNUCOPIA OF SWEDISH CANDIES.

In short, YOU PEOPLE ARE AWESOME AND NOW I HAVE MEAD AND CHOCOLATE.

Seriously, I have the best friends ever from the internet. <3

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But the

And since we

Let it

Let it

Let it

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