"Mayhaps he needs to leave," she snapped back at Elaine. "We'll get Marcello back home with his sister, break Dierdre out of jail and send her along her way, where'er she should decide to go, and things will go back the way they were." Her face crumbled. "I'm tired, Elaine, do you understand that? I feel sick all the time now, and then the only time I don't feel so sick is when I'm with one or the other, and as soon as that's o'er, I feel worse."

Elaine cringed back, looking hurt. "Well, then don't punish yourself. Is that what you're trying to do? If they make you happy, figure it out."

Niabheara looked equally hurt. "No one is going to be happy if one of us is lying," she said. "And if I'm going to stop lying, it might as well be now while he still has a choice of what he wants to do. If I told him later, he'd want to know why I didn't say something when he still could have left." She rubbed her throat. "That's what I've been doing," she said. "I've been putting it off. So that if he did want to leave, he wouldn't have a chance. And so I might still be able to convince him to stay."

Elaine looked more sympathetic now. She reached out to touch the older girl's arm. "And you're certain he won't stay?" She asked.

"I am not certain of anything," she replied.

Elaine sighed. "I'm sorry," she said' looking certain that she had said something wrong. "It's just that I thought I was the one with the messed up love life around here. Is there anything I can do?"

Niabheara looked the other girl over, and put both hands on Elaine's shoulders. "One thing you can do, but not for me," she said. "Promise me, if things look as if they're going this way between you and Brammie and Jochy--don't let it get like this before you put a stop to it. I don't think that you would. But don't let it anyway."

Elaine took a deep breath. "I'll promise you I won't ever lie to Starling," she answered. "Not about anything to do with him and me. Only...you know. Things Judith orders. Life or death things. No my feelings for him or anybody else."

Niabheara nodded. "Good enough." She kissed her on the cheek and took her hands away.

Elaine nodded, and took a deep breath. "I love your brother," she said. "I know I do. I just haven't worked out what kind of love it is yet. I won't hurt him any more than I can help."

She hesitated. "Are you...should I let you go?"