"I know" Maalech nodded. "But I'm not so sure about Elaine. She was the one that said all the mean things, and I don't really trust Morgan either, though he said he was my friend. But..." He ran a hand over his nose, stifling the sniffles. It wasn't that hard. he was used to it after all. "I guess... maybe... it's not important. But I mean, turning back would be like dying. I don't know who I will be, but I know who I am, and I like this place. I like this life. It's a lot better than were I came from. Why would I ever want to give this up? I mean would you? If someone came and told you that you're somebody else you just don't remember? Even if that someone was really awesome but also kinda scary?"

Starling frowned. "I think I might want to know a little bit more about it before I made up me might all together," he said seriously. "I mean . . . even if it were bad, it couldn't have been one hundred percent complete bad. And even if it was, I'd still want to know. If only to know what I'd gotten away from." He gave the boy a snaggle-toothed grin.

"I agree." Maalech nodded. "I have asked people. A lot of people. Not sure if it makes more sense or not, but... I don't want to go back. I think the Countess hated me, or maybe was afraid of me, but she tried to be nice, and... well. I can be nice too. I want to be." He said the last with great vigor.

Starling shrugged. "You don't seem too bad now, so you couldn't've been all too terribly bad. Maybe it was a long time ago?"

"I don't know. I'm kinda afraid to ask too much, I don't want to know. I'm not him, that's enough for me. And how bad is anybody when they're ten anyway? I mean I have known some really bad kids, but I always figured they would end up really useless when they grew up. Nobody who is that bad that young will last very long. I think." He had thought too much about this.

Not even the giant duck could make him feel better when he started pondeirng this.

Starling looked puzzled. "You worry a lot for a little kid, you know that?"

"Somebody has to" Maalech sighed. "This is my fault, sort of. I can't just ignore it and hope it goes away. Maybe in a little." He pouted slightly, but it was better to get all this over with. Then he could perhaps get on with his life.

He might even have a life he liked.

Starling dwelled on the idea of connecting this kid with Curr and the possibility that the moping literally might never end, and then decided not to. Not for their sakes, but for the rest of the world's. "That's one of the perks to bein' a little kid. Someone else gets to worry about this stuff for you. You don't have the . . . " He sought for a word. "You don't have the experience yet."

"But other people don't worry about this stuff" Maalech pointed out. "They're stupid, I'm used to taking care of myself. I always have." He crossed his arms, giving starling a very stubborn look. "And technically I do have the experience, I just don't remember it yet."

"Theoretically I'm worth about three hundred soliels in silver, but as I don't happen to have it in me purse right now, I might as well be broke." He shrugged. "Mother worries about this stuff and she isn't stupid."