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Seas Of Erin > Cecilia > MEN ARE POOPY BASTARDS


Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 03:02 AM
"Nialla?!" called a tearstained, raw-voiced Elaine, as she weakly battered the door to Judith's cabin. "Nialla, are you in there?!"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 03:09 AM
Niabheara woke up with a start and a very unladylike snort. Delicately, she extracted herself from under Marcello's arm and tiptoed to the door, fearing the worst--which in this case covered far more ground than the short journey could accommodate--before she peeked out the door. Her hair, true to its usual unbraided form, was a wild red halo around her face.

"El--Elaine?" She tried to get enough hair out of her eyes to focus on the girl, and sucked in her breath at Elaine's streaked face. "Oh, no, what's happened?"

Posted by: Marcello Basciano Apr 27 2008, 03:13 AM
Marcello sat up in bed a moment later, smoothing his own hair down. "Niabheara?" he asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "What--"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 03:14 AM
Elaine, rather without warning, threw her arms around the older girl. "You brother is a bastard!" she howled.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 03:20 AM
'Taken aback' did not quite begin to cover it. Niabheara carefully put her arms around Elaine's shoulders, patting the girl's back while looking--rather helplessly--toward Marcello. "Ah, shh, it's . . . obviously not all right," she said, in her best Morgana-voice. "Come on, let's clean up your face and you can tell me what's wrong . . . "

Another flicker toward Marcello, this one slightly more strained.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 03:28 AM
It was around this time that Elaine began to cry: heavy, heaving sobs that shook her back, and she pressed her face into Niabheara's shoulder, without much explanation.

Posted by: Marcello Basciano Apr 27 2008, 03:29 AM
Marcello stood up, a bit wide-eyed, and edged his way around the girl. "Shall I-- ah...get help? Or stay here?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 03:38 AM
"Stay a moment," she told Marcello, her voice a bit shaky. She gathered Elaine under her arm and guided the girl toward the captain's vast chair. "There we go. What's happened? Are you hurt? Why's my brother a bastard all of a sudden?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 03:44 AM
Elaine dropped into the chair heavily, slumping over the armrests, glaring at the floor as if it had done her some terrible wrong. "I told him-- I told him I liked him," she managed weakly, rubbing both hands across her face to dispell the tears. "And he tried to fuck me and I told him no and he-- AUGH!" she shrieked, not quite finishing her explanation.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 03:48 AM
Sympathy seemed to slide off Niabheara's face. Her mouth tightened, but she patted Elaine's shoulder as gently as she could, under the circumstances. "You . . . I wasn't aware that you e'en . . . Brammie did this?" Now her lips pursed slightly in distaste.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 03:51 AM
"He pushed me into a corner!" the girl cried, in between snobs, wiping her drippy nose on her sleeve. "I didn't know what else to do! I made him stop! And he-- I think he called me a whore!"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 04:10 AM
"Bram?" Niabheara said again, not comprehending. She was starting to look a bit ill. She gave Marcello a rather bleak look. "I think . . . I'm sorry, if you could step out for just a moment, please? I may have to fetch Judith."

She pulled her hand through the air and produced, from some invisible pocket, a long pale scarf of linen, which she pressed into Elaine's hand.

Posted by: Marcello Basciano Apr 27 2008, 04:13 AM
Marcello, who was looking rather white, nodded. "I'll be right outside," he assured both girls.

And bolted.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 04:15 AM
Elaine, meanwhile, took one look at the scarf, and burst into violent tears.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 04:22 AM
She wasn't sure if it was Marcello's departure had let the dam cut loose or if Elaine was genuinely upset at the scarf. "Elaine, you--"

With a sigh, she propped herself up on the edge of the desk and steeled herself to wait out for the duration, if need be. "Wouldn't you rather talk to Judith?" she asked hopefully.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 04:27 AM
Elaine dabbed at her eyes with the scarf, and then shook her head rather certainly. "We're not supposed to be fooling around at all, and I-- I don't want to get him in trouble," she explained helplessly, her face flushing. "And besides, every time I talk to her, she parades out her experience because of the whole she's-been-alive-eight-million-years thing and I just feel stupid."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 04:30 AM
Niabheara sucked on her bottom lip, but nodded in recognition. "She does that to me as well," she admitted. "I haven't seen Bram in near on a year but generally . . . well, he's usually only stupid by mistake. Perhaps you just misunderstood him?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 04:34 AM
Elaine gave the older girl a pained look. "First he said he'd almost given up waiting for me. Then I told him I needed more time," she said unhappily, rubbing at her cheeks, as if that would help. "He said that if I wasn't up to it, he'd trade a blow job for poetry. Does that sound like a mistake?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 04:48 AM
Niabheara winced with disgust. "Mayhaps a joke that came off wrong? I don't know." Her hand crept out to pat Elaine's back. "It sounds as if he made a proper idiot of himself, howe'er it was meant. Did you . . . do you want me to speak to him for you?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 04:53 AM
"I don't know," Elaine answered, shrugging, a bit pathetically. "I don't know what it would do. I--"

She choked slightly, then coughed into her hand. "I'm sorry, Nialla. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about Jochy and I-- I don't even know what to do with him! And now Starling! And I should have known better with Jochy, but I thought Starling was decent, at least! I thought--" She huffed slightly. "What do you do when yours is a jerk?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 05:04 AM
It may have spoken volumes that Niabheara was, ever so briefly, at a complete loss to understand what exactly of hers was meant to be misbehaving--and that even she was embarrassed for herself when at last it dawned on her as to what Elaine referred. "I would not quite call him 'mine'," she admitted, turning a little pink. "And if so, he's not been mine long enough to . . . jerk? Besides," and the best defence was to swing the subject back around, "you were talking about Bram--Starling. He's not . . . he's ne'er been much inclined toward real trouble. Mischievous, aye, but he's not cruel."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 05:11 AM
"Well, he must...you know, say stupid, thoughtless things sometimes...or something. Marcello was already at Cnoch-na-Niall before I got together with Jochy, so that's plenty of time...considering I just had one go from being sweet to an outright bastard in fifteen minutes. And maybe that's because you're as good as his sister and he's never tried to..."

She groaned, splaying both hands out "You know. I never-- I thought he was nice. He's always-- he stuck up for me when the others were teasing. Except now it seems like he only did that to get in my pants."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 05:24 AM
"Brother of mine or no, he's still a man." She looked down at her own hands, a rueful, tight-screwed smile on her face. "They're not known to be quite sensitive when it comes to their needs. Much as I would prefer not to think of it, when it comes to our Bram."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 05:30 AM
Elaine snorted quietly, and she looked down at the floor. "I had such a...I was infatuated with Jochy," she said quietly. "And when he came back, and I came back, and we were ourselves again, we were just...we were talking, and I asked him about sex, about what it was like, and the next thing I knew, he was kissing me, and...and there was somebody else in the room and I told him we couldn't, so we went up-- up here," she said, looking around the cabin-- and I just thought there would be more kissing, and-- I don't know, but I wasn't expecting it to go so fast, but I didn't want to say no, and it's not like-- I mean, I liked it, and all...But I just didn't want that to happen again."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 05:44 AM
And Niabheara sat quietly, feeling her heart wrung out. Her fingers clenched in her lap, drawing her skirt into furrows. She let out a long breath and smoothed the cloth flat again. "I only e'er kissed him," she said, more bitterly than she intended. "I suppose you already knew that."




Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 05:52 AM
"Because he thinks too highly of you," Elaine answered, cheeks red, equally bitter. "And that's supposed to make me feel better. Or you feel better, even, and I don't see how it does. Like you're some--perfect thing they have to hold at arm's length because they're not worthy, and what's that supposed to make me, if ever man-- boy I kiss doesn't even have a second thought about trying to drag me to bed. Obviously no one's worried that they might not be good enough for me."

She traced the floor with her toe.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 06:01 AM
"Funny, he used the much same excuse with me," Niabheara snapped back. "Only yesternight, as a matter of fact. That he would only complicate things, that he'd found something else that needed him more--and managed to make himself sound noble that he'd thrown me o'er for someone else. For you. E'en if I was the one who did the pushing aside, but no, to hear him tell it he didn't want to stand in my way." The girl's face darkened. "He says what he pleased. Any excuse will do when the mood is with him. Mayhaps he e'en believes it."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 07:40 AM
Elaine gritted her teeth. "He gave me a present," she said sullenly. "Jochy did. The last time I saw him."

She pulled the compass out, opened it. "It's got iron on it, though. And Starling gave me-- shit," she swore, touching a finger to her gold hoops. "Shit. I don't want to keep wearing these, do I?"

She looked rather nauseated.


Niabheara's nostrils curled at the scent of iron. "You still love him, don't you." As much as she fought to keep the accusation from her tone, it still came out hostile.


'I don't know!" Elaine answered frustratedly, and she burst into tears again. "I thought I did; I thought I did so much that it ripped me up inside and I felt like all my guts were being town out when he left me. And then...when he's not here, I'm just angry, and when he is, I'm just...anything but. But Judith and my Papa and everyone else...they're all telling me to stop and leave him and let him live his own life, but I'm scared that without me, he'll keep messing up, and then there's Starling, and I thought maybe I...he's nice. Or he was. He didn't ever make me feel awful. Until now. And now I don't know; I don't know about any of it. Does it always feel this awful?"


This time Niabheara pressed her palms together and simply watched Elaine cry, hoping to draw some satisfaction from it. It only served to make her throat ache, and to make her feel like a terribly small, vindictive person--and dash it all, she couldn't even envy properly.

"With Jochy . . . I felt as if I were to blame," she said tightly. "As if I wanted something unreasonable, because I knew he loved Seth. I didn't want to interfere with that, but I couldn't . . . I wanted him to know, at least. E'en if it made things strained between us." She laughed lightly. "Stupid of me. As if it made any difference. He went out and made his own mistakes, will-I or ne'er-so. And nothing I said to him mattered. I couldn't turn him or hold him back for a moment. That's how little it mattered. He would do as he would or die."


Elaine wrung at the cloth Niabheara had given her, wiping her eyes again, and shook her head, looking up at the older girl. "You mattered," she said quietly, meeting Niabheara's eyes. "He knows he messed things up. I mean...he changes what he says, all the time, to suit what he wants to get out of you, and he's said he loves you, and he's said he hasn't, but he's always said he wishes he could keep being friends with you and he's afraid that's beyond repair now."

She bit her lower lip. "D'you still love him?'


"I suppose I must do," Niabheara replied. "If I cared nothing for him, he couldn't hurt me anymore."

Elaine tugged at her hair, frustrated. "But you've got somebody-- Don't take this the wrong way, because I hardly know him, but you've got a man who'd pretty much lay down an die for you if he had to, even if he's not at cute as Jochy, and that should-- it doesn't--i was-- this is going to come out so wrong; I was thinking that I care enough about Starling, and he cares enough about me, maybe that would be better." She grimaced. "And then it turns out he doesn't care about be at all."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 07:51 AM
"You try having someone willing to lie down and die for you and tell me how it feels when he's fool enough to actually go and do it," Niabheara snapped back. "Is that clear enough? Does that tell you where we're headed? You . . . silly, stupid little girl, all wrapped up in your own . . . half-wit romantic notions, you don't know anything! Can you understand that? You don't know--"

Niabheara dropped off the desk's edge and made it halfway across the room before she flung her fist down. Her head dropped, and a terrible reedy squeal, the sound of a dying rabbit, came out through her clenched teeth.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 07:55 AM
Elaine looked somewhere between affronted and petrified. "I know I don't know anything!" she snapped back. "What do you think I'm coming to you for;I'm looking for advice, you--"

Her jaw dropped at the squealing. "What the hell?!?!"

Posted by: Marcello Basciano Apr 27 2008, 07:57 AM
And the door flew open, Marcello looking a bit pale as he stood in the doorway. "Niabheara?" he said, shooting Elaine a hard glare. "What's wrong?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 08:04 AM
Niabheara put one hand to her throat and waved Marcello back with the other, shaking her head fiercely until her voice loosened enough to speak. "Nothing! It's nothing, please!"

Posted by: Marcello Basciano Apr 27 2008, 08:06 AM
"It didn't sound like nothing from out there," the man answered worriedly, but he backed up nonetheless. "I wasn't even trying to listen in."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 08:08 AM
"I didn't do anything to her!" Elaine put in defensively. "We were just talking, and she-- she went crazy."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 08:19 AM
"Oh, I did not go crazy," Niabheara shot back, hoarse but in control of herself, at Elaine. "I'm . . . we were talking, Marcello, that's all, we're both a bit . . . heated." It was the nearest word she could find on short notice; her own emotions ran nearer to stone furious. "Him again."

Posted by: Marcello Basciano Apr 27 2008, 08:24 AM
Marcello went quite visibly cold, and shut his eyes for a moment, then glanced at Elaine. He tugged at his earlobe, then nodded. "I hope this helps, then," he said quietly, and he stepped back for the door. "I'm leaving you both again?" he asked, a touch uncertainly.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 08:25 AM
"If Nialla can stand not screaming at me over every little thing," Elaine said bitterly.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 08:32 AM
Niabheara pressed her lips together and wavered between the two of them before make a firm decision toward Marcello. She cupped her hands around his neck. "Don't linger," she said quietly. "It isn't that important. I'll find you in a moment."

Posted by: Marcello Basciano Apr 27 2008, 08:35 AM
Marcello glanced past Niabheara's shoulder, giving Elaine a stern look, and then bowed his head to Niabheara, pressing a kiss to her forehead, just between her brows.

And then he nodded, and left, closing the door quietly behind him.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 08:36 AM
"There," Elaine groaned. "Case in point." She dropped back into the chair. "You want to see how many people come running if I sound like a terrified woodland creature?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 08:55 AM
"Oh, stop it. Someone would come if they heard; it's only that Marcello was lingering right outside." She leaned her back against the door, either to block Elaine's exit or to keep Marcello from barging back in. She hung her head and, after a quiet moment, said, "Forgive me for shouting. I moved my burdens onto your back."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 06:03 PM
Elaine looked unhappily at the door. "But he is lingering there," she pointed out, wrapping her arms around her stomach. "I didn't come up here to pick a fight," she said quietly. "And I didn't mean to make this all about Jochy; he's just the only man who's ever paid attention to me like that, and I don't know what to compare this to. Except Jochy never makes me feel like shit when I tell him no."

She looked down again, grimacing as if the idea hurt her. "I don't want you to hate me," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to hurt anybody, and you-- I feel like I've known your forever, and I know things and feel things that I wish I didn't. They're not my fault. Same with Seth. I mean, here's this man I'd never met before, and I just wanted him to love me and forgive me so badly, and it's weird."

She swallowed. "And Judith said you know swords and maybe you'd help me learn." The words seemed terribly out of place as anything but a peace offering.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 08:06 PM
Niabheara huffed and sighed, "I don't hate you." Then she went quiet, examining that statement for truthfulness. "I don't hate you," she repeated, with more confidence. "I . . . envy you, and I can't quite get around that yet. But I do know that this wasn't your fault. It isn't fair of me to dislike someone I don't e'en know, simply because they have something I wanted for myself." She blushed slightly. "And that wasn't your fault either, really. I'm angry with him. He's the one that should have known better. But he's not here any more."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 08:22 PM
Elaine shrugged. "I know he wants to make things right," she said quietly, shooting Niabheara a tight smile. "But knowing Jochy, he probably tries to make things right by telling you how much you did wrong and how it wasn't all his fault." She bit her lip. "And I can't speak for him or defend him; he's got to make it right himself. He's...he's trying to do right by me, but seeing how well he's done with everyone else, I don't even know if it's worth waiting for him or depending on him like that."

She sighed, then looked back to the girl, twisting a lock of hair around her finger. "I talked to Judith about you for a while, too. I sort of...feel bad, you know? I mean...not pity. But my mother carted me off too."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 08:32 PM
"I am trying to stop waiting on him, myself," Niabheara admitted, her hands clutched together before her. "I knew before I e'en spoke a word to him how this would all end. 'More grief than pleasure.'"

Despite herself she shuttered and waved her hand before her eyes as if brushing aside a cobweb. She raised her eyes, expression clouded with confusion, at Elaine's last statement. "I'm sorry, I don't . . . I don't understand quite what you mean by that. Carted off?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 08:42 PM
Elaine bit her lip. "My parents dumped me in a convent to have me raised by nuns," she answered. "It was a concession to my grandfather, but Sylvie's the older twin, and she got to stay with them, as much as they could keep her. She got to sail with my father. I got taken care of by people who had forty more girls to look after, too. And I sort of understand why they did it, but I would have rathered have them. This is going to sound awfully ironic to you, but Judith's more of a mama than I've ever had before."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 10:20 PM
"I don't doubt it. She's not a bad woman--difficult, aye, but not evil. Bram and I both adored her when we were small. Morgana--my sister Meg, Bram's mother . . . I suppose 'cheerful tolerance' is the best term for it." She half-smiled. "She came and went. It was nice enough when she was there, but I ne'er felt the lack when she left. It was how she was. E'en after I found out she was really my mother . . . it didn't change anything. Nothing important. She still came and went, I still had Meg when I needed her . . . but that's not the same thing at all as it must have been for you." She tipped her head at Elaine, kind and thoughtful. "Not really."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 10:25 PM
Elaine pressed her lips together. "No," she agreed. "Not really. My mother's...she's a ghost, on this ship..." she patted at the wood affectionately. "And I know she loves me and protects me, but it's...I guess it's how people talk about guardian angels or guardian spirits. It's not like a mother. She's still angry about that," Elaine said softly. "Judith is. About...she felt like Jochy took away your safety. She feels like things wouldn't be so dangerous now if you'd been let alone."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 10:38 PM
"It wasn't wholly his fault. This time." She gave an icy little laugh. "There, you see? I'm doing his job for him now. He did nothing but give me an idea. I was the one that acted on it. Everything after that was my own doing. I don't think I can hold him at fault for this one, but if history e'er speaks his name, it'll be for that one thing. Bearing an idea."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 10:44 PM
Elaine snorted. "He does that a lot, doesn't he?" she asked. "Says just enough to completely tip the world off its scale, and then leaves everyone else scrambling to right it. That-- that wasn't really why I brought it up, though," she admitted. "I just...I think Judith wished she'd been able to protect you from this more. Whatever it is we're doing now."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 10:49 PM
"We are waging clan-war against Her Majesty," Niabheara explained quite simply. "The woman made injure against my house and therefore I lay claim to her own. It's past due, all things considered: she's murdered my grandparents, my betrothed, in addition to the gods-may-know-what she did to my father . . . "

Now the girl looked bitter again. "What on earth did Judith expect? I thought this was what she wanted, her own clan on the throne. Now that she's on the verge of getting what she's always wanted, now she has regrets?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 10:57 PM
Elaine blinked. "Wait, so is that what this is about?" she asked. "I don't think she was-- I mean, I think she wanted for you to not get...attacked like this. Judith just wanted her name on the throne? She's-- she's the damn Sea Witch, couldn't she just take over if that's what she wanted?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 11:10 PM
Niabheara snorted. "Mayhaps she's tried and failed. I know not. It's what I've always assumed, at least. It's the only thing that makes sense anymore. There was ne'er any great love lost between herself and my father; it's not likely she arranged this to please him. It's the only thing I can see she stands to gain."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 11:21 PM
"Maybe it's not about her gaining," Elaine said thoughtfully. "I mean, not in the way you're thinking. She's the sea. She's...she's got to see things larger than just herself or her name. I mean, she barely remembers her family well enough to care about a name. I don't think-- she's old enough that not so much means that much to her. But...Neely would have-- would have either died, and there'd be no more Nialls, right? Or he would have found some other way to have an heir. And it...might have been a lot worse, if he'd been the one raising you. If she couldn't know whatever baby was growing up being you was protected."

She bit her lip. "Also, she looked up to Nance. A lot. I know about her."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 11:32 PM
"My Wicked Aunt Nance?" When she said it, one could hear the capital letters in her inflection. "If . . . if that were what she was after, she might have rusting well said, rather than just leaving everyone to guess and reason."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 11:33 PM
Elaine laughed. "Your wicked aunt?" she asked, eyes gleaming. "I met her. She's...she's in Judith's head, ordering the rest of her head around."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 11:39 PM
Niabheara blinked. "She's dead. She's been dead for ages. Why is she . . . what were you doing in Mother's head, anyway?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 27 2008, 11:51 PM
"She almost died," Elaine explained. "Jochy and Hartley and I went into her head to wrench her back. And Nance has a little ship in there-- I mean, I don't think it's real Nance; I think it's whatever your mother remembers of her, but we only saw two human beings in Judith's head, and Nance was one of them, which...I think says a lot about what kind of impression she's had on her. I think maybe part of having you was for Nance."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 27 2008, 11:56 PM
Niabheara still looked doubtful, now with a faint, elusive feeling of hurt behind it. "You know more of it than I do," she said. "She'd ne'er admit to it. E'en if it was true. And Nance was . . . " Her head went back in a bright if slightly stuttery laugh. "Of all people for Mother to take after, Nance. She was an outcast, an exile." The laugh tapered off to a wry smile. "But Mother's always admired those sorts. It makes a sort of sense."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 12:01 AM
"I don't know," Elaine said. "It's just a guess. And mostly, Judith has to tell me these things so I can understand what it's like. To be sea-witch. I-- she was our age, and-- I think there might actually have been a time when she didn't think her judgment was obviously better than everyone else's," she said, making a face-- a cheerful sort of hope-for-comraderie face. "But I don't think your mama just thinks of you as a way to get a name on the throne. She's been around long enough to know those kinds of things don't last. Aren't big and important."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 12:08 AM
Niabheara's arms crossed at the wrist, her hands latching together. "But it still matters. I don't have Mother's sort of time." She risked a look up at Elaine. "Nor do you. Not yet, at any rate."

She hesitated, then shyly admitted, "I do still love him. Jochy, I mean."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 12:17 AM
Elaine smiled, a bit uncomfortably.

"I'm not going to-- I don't really expect you'd be able to get over him so fast," she admitted. "If I did, I'd be a hypocrite. And he's sort of hard not to love."

She glanced at the door. Then pointed. "What about your Queensman out there?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 12:20 AM
Niabheara glanced behind her, then stepped away from the door; she had quite forgotten she was still leaning against it. "What of him? He knows, if that's what you mean."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 12:23 AM
"He knows and he hasn't slit Jochy's throat?" Elaine asked, looking impressed. "I mean, what's he like? What's going on with you two? Is he a good kisser? D'you love him? That kind of stuff."


Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 12:28 AM
A high flush of colour rushed to Niabheara's cheeks. Her hands felt nervously at her torc. "He's . . . what? Why? Why do you want to know?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 12:34 AM
Elaine shrugged. "No reason," she answered. "Mostly just curious. I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but... he's...I guess he's cute, but he's not-- he can't hold a candle to you. So. Um. He must be doing something right, right? But I just want to know. I don't know anything about him, and there's sort of...I think being Jochy made me a little protective and jealous?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 12:44 AM
Niabheara drew back her shoulders in indignation. "There are a limited number of other ways to take that," she returned tartly.

She softened, but she went on staring at Elaine as if deeply worried about exactly what worms wriggled in the other girl's brain. "It doesn't matter. That's what he looks like. It's . . . hard to explain. It's so very hard to say what anyone really looks like back home, e'en people I've known all my life. I know this is him. I know everything about him. He's nothing hidden from me."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 12:53 AM
"I didn't say he was ugly; Jesus," Elaine said, a bit defensively. "I just mean...you're, you've got to be practically the most beautiful girl who's ever lived."

Then she frowned, shrugging apologetically. "Sorry. I-- so that's all there is to it? He's honest? No wonder you have problems with Jochy," she joked. "When'd you-- you know. When'd you realize you liked him? Loved him? Whichever."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 01:16 AM
"There are those who think my father is beautiful," Niabheara said, irritably brushing her loose hair out of her face. "Then he speaks to them."

She gathered all her hair over one shoulder, pinning it there long enough to divide it up in three more-or-less even clumps, then set about turning a braid. "Why are you asking me all this?" she said softly, trying to make it sound less like an accusation. "Is it because you didn't have a chance for any of it with Jochy?"

Then she shook her head, turned her back to Elaine as she did up the last of her braid. "I'm not sure that I do."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 01:20 AM
"I'm trying to figure myself out," Elaine said, shrugging. "I mean, I've been out of the convent for about half a year now? And I've never really been around people before. This is the first time, and I don't know how to react to anything, or whether what I think I'm feeling is actually what I'm feeling, trying to understand what other people feel, and..." She looked down. "Maybe it is, a little. It all seems very romantic, and--"

Then she blinked up at Niabheara. "Not sure you what?" she asked confusedly.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 01:26 AM
"I don't love Marcello," she said evenly, keeping her voice as low as possible. It was not so much a fear that he might be listening at the door as it was that she would make a big scene about it. "He's a very good man, and a very dear friend. I don't pretend that's love."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 01:39 AM
"Oh," Elaine answered, looking puzzled for a moment, as if the thought had never occurred to her. "Um. Not to sound cheeky, but does Mister Knight in Shining Armor know that?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 01:49 AM
"Not for my telling him, if he does." She tried to muster up enough energy to threaten Elaine's life, but suddenly her shoulders sagged. She shook her head, feeling tired.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 01:56 AM
"How come not?" the younger girl askedn frowning. "I mean, if he's such a good friend...I may not be the queen of emotional sensitivity here, but that seems like a fairly shit thing to do to somebody you give a damn about."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 02:03 AM
"I already know that. As much as I know it will only be worse the longer I hold off telling. But . . . " She shook her head again with more venom. "I don't e'en know how to broach the subject! It's going to be . . . it's not as if I feel nothing for the man; I do, I swear on stone I do. But it's not what he wants. I know it isn't."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 02:18 AM
Elaine looked incredulous. "How d'you know it's not?" she asked. "And whether what you're feeling is what he wants shouldn't matter. I mean, you're the one feeling it, not him. You can't force yourself to feel something, and if you- I don't know. I would think if you- I guess that's what I thought with Starling, was maybe that's what love's supposed to be, and I just didn't know it yet. But he turned me off that quick."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 02:25 AM
"It's not . . . it's not as if it's servitude. I don't want to hurt him. I tell myself I can bear a good deal for his sake. I like being with him. I e'en like being in bed with him--" that came out before she could stop it, and she turned red again but went on. "I don't know what the matter is, save that it's in me. There's a . . . a lacking there."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 02:34 AM
Elaine grimaced and put a hand on her ribcage. "You mean the part where it feels like your heart's burning up inn your chest and you haven't got a body anymore, just fire?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 02:41 AM
Niabheara looked up at Elaine, her expression equal parts surprise, sorrow, and deep relief. "Aye, just so. And part of me wants to go, and it can't, but it tries, and it hurts . . . "

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 02:48 AM
"Go?" Elaine asked. "How d'you mean, go? You mean leave him, or what?" She bit her lip. "Jesus. Um. If I'm being too nosy, you can tell me so. I- I wouldn't tell anybody any of this."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 02:54 AM
"I want to forget about Jochy and be with Marcello. Only I'm afraid forgetting Jochy might not help either." She bowed her head. "It would be so much easier . . . I don't know why I'm telling you this." She suddenly looked ashamed of herself. "This isn't why you came to me."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 03:05 AM
Elaine gave Niabheara a reassuring look and shook her head. "I sort of-- like hearing it?" she answered. "I mean, not the bad bits, but...it's nice to know you'd tell me. And anyway, if it bothered me, I could tell you really horrible things. Like..." She grinned mischievously. "Your brother makes slurpy noises."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 03:15 AM
Niabheara was actually shocked into laughing. "He does . . . no, no, he's my brother! Don't tell me these things!" She pretended to block her ears with her hands. "It's not the same when you shared a crib together! It's just . . . squicky."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 03:18 AM
Elaine laughed, too, grinning, looking quite pleased with herself. "It's squicky even if you didn't, Nialla! Slurping," she repeated, in a fake-mortified tone. "Just imagine, you're trying to be all romantic, and--- SHCLOOOOP!" She waved her hands out for effect. "SCHLOOP! Oh, my god, I could barely keep a straight face."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 03:25 AM
Niabheara looked vaguely nauseated and horrified, even thought she was by now nearly bent double laughing. She waved her hands in a gesture for mercy. "No, no, please, it's . . . look, I used to change the wee thing's napkins, I don't need to . . . stop!"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 03:27 AM
Elaine grinned and whooped. "No, no!" she retorted, slapping her knee. "That's not how it works! You tell me one, or I tell you one worse."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 03:31 AM
Niabheara was laughing almost too hard to speak. "I don't have any stories, I promise you, I don't! If I had them I'd tell you, just please don't tell me any more about Bram. Would you want me to tell you all about what your sister's like in bed? Or your father?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 03:38 AM
"Oh, god!" Elaine moaned. "You know, first time I met him, Jochy spent the whole time ogling my father's ass. And telling me how nice it was. And by then end, I had my mother dangle him over the side of the ship, I was so mad. It was--" she shuddered, running a hand down her face. "C'mon," she teased. "Tell me what your Queensman's like. He must do something hilarious, in bed or not."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 03:49 AM
"He didn't." It was the obligatory answer, but, knowing Jochy as she did, Niabheara didn't have to be told that he had. She rolled her eyes. "I didn't get that sort of story from Jochy--I was too young--but he wasn't quite shy about telling me that he'd slept with my father, either. Sad to say, it's starting to seem a habit with him, to move from the fathers to their daughters." She laughed lightly, shaking her head. "Impossible man."

Then she flushed. "He doesn't . . . it's not . . . I don't know!" She nearly wailed. "It's nothing like . . . we've--" She gave up, smiling, looking at the floor. "He's good. He's very good."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 03:59 AM
Elaine snorted. "Andre would have smacked him if he'd even so much as said so to his face," she answered. "Then again, Jochy thought I was a boy. Then again, then again, he thought I was a twelve year old boy. And he didn't know Andre was my father."

She smirked, then whistled low. "No complaints at all? He must...he must at least snore. Jochy-- I don't exactly have anything to compare him to, but he won't shut up. It was good the couple of times we-- but:" She made her hand into a mouth, opening and shutting it repeatedly. "Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 04:06 AM
Niabheara bit her knuckle and giggled. "Mostly he talks when we're not in bed," she admitted. "We haven't actually . . . it's only been a few times. I don't really know yet."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 04:12 AM
"Oh, Jochy never turns it off," Elaine answered, shaking her head. "I'm not even saying this to be discouraging! It's like...if he could talk more than he does normally...he's figured out a way. I don't know how he keeps it up!"

Now it was her turn to blush. "I mean. Oh GOD! I didn't mean it that way," she said, as she went crimson.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 04:21 AM
"I know what you didn't mean." Her face was one massive, stunned blush; if Marcello had walked in just then, he might've suspected that Elaine had just slapped Niabheara on both cheeks. She drifted over to the rumbled bed and sat cross-legged on its edge. "I like him," she explained, almost miserably. "I was curious. I wanted to see what it was like. I wanted to give him something he seemed to want. I didn't think either of those were bad reasons, until now."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 04:27 AM
Elaine gulped.

She made her way over to the other girl, sat down near her but not beside her. "You mean until now now?" she asked. "I mean, was it something I said? I don't want to-- look, if it-- I don't think it's bad. I mean, when I-- I swore I wouldn't fall for Jochy; I knew it would be a mess if I did, and I did anyway, and I...I'm making him wait," she said, biting at the inside of her mouth. "Six months, I told him, and I feel like hell about Starling, but he told me...I mean, Jochy did. Told me I should. I don't want to make a wreck of things for you two, too," she said apologetically.

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 04:40 AM
"No. I already felt badly about it." She drew up her knees and hugged them against her chest. "The man's going to war for me. It's not about Cnoch-na-Niall or the land or anything else for him. One other reason. But he's as much as said that the rest is for me. And I can't let him do it, and he won't let himself be sent away--I don't want to send him away. There's nowhere else for him to go, really."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 04:46 AM
"But that-- that's not your problem," Elaine pointed out. "I mean...you can't just be responsible for people. That's what everyone keeps telling me. I can't be responsible for the fact that Jochy's no good at being faithful to anyone. And I'm not doing very well at not holding myself responsible, so maybe I shouldn't say it to you, but you can't. If he shouldn't be here, you've got to just tell him to go. If he doesn't have anything else, that's not your fault."

She gave Niabheara a curious look. "What's the other reason?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 04:52 AM
Niabheara swallowed hard. She couldn't bring herself to look at Elaine. "Someone who died. Titania killed him."

She sat up, laughing a little, and shook her braid over her back. "I am responsible for people. It's just that generally they are people in very large groups. I don't know how to manage only one."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 04:59 AM
Elaine looked rather saddened herself. "I don't know what to tell you," she admitted. "I've never been responsible for anybody but myself, and I don't know why I feel responsible for Jochy, but I do. And that's hard enough. I...I don't want to say anything like 'do you know how lucky you are' or anything scolding like that, but...I guess I wish somebody felt like that about me. I just always figured that if somebody did, it would be somebody I felt the same way about. Um..."

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "How much of this have you said to him?" she asked. "You can't-- you've got to get it sorted before something bad happens."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 05:03 AM
"I know I must." She lifted her head from her knee. "I was just going to say that you were the lucky one. You love him. He loves you. E'en if you couldn't be together, bad as it may have been, there was that."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 05:15 AM
Elaine winced, then looked glumly at the older girl, picking at the bedcover. "But it's like loving a...a wild bear. Or something. I'm always worried he's going to get into trouble again. I'm always scared he's going to bite me the same way he did you and Seth. I feel like I spend so much time keeping him in place, or scolding him, or trying to stop him from having nightmares or going mad, and I still can't trust him. And even knowing all that, I feel like I have to see it through. Like giving up on him is worse than the nine-in-ten chance that he'll spit this all back in my face. Because the one-in-ten it might work..."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 05:26 AM
Niabheara gave Elaine a shy, fleeting smile. "And I know how that feels as well," she said. She smoothed out the bit of coverlet the girl was picking at. "I don't want to discourage you, but those were all the reasons why I decided I had to let him go. He's always been this way, as long as I can remember. It's just that I didn't understand why those were dangerous traits, until now."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 05:35 AM
"Which is why I went to talk to Starling about it," Elaine answered, and she moved her hand away sheepishly. "Because I was thinking...and I don't know if it's something you've already thought, but I was thinking, what if that fire-feeling...the one you said is missing...what if that hasn't got anything to do with love at all? It's not like I'd know. It's not like I've been in love before this. Maybe I'm thinking it's love because it's such a desperate kind of rush but maybe it means something else."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 03:58 PM
"It's been my experience that it's an . . . entangling sort of feeling. Like oak-moss. If ever you are separated there's a long, dull pain, as if your whole arm's been struck off, and you can't sleep or eat or do anything at all without feeling the lack. Like trying to reach out for a cup with the hand that isn't there anymore. Like being homesick. It's . . . I'm sorry, I'm being foolish." She blushed again. "And to be honest I wouldn't know anything about that because Marcello and I have been virtually packed in the same box like a pair of spoons for months now."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 04:18 PM
Elaine frowned, looking wonderingly at the older girl. "I don't feel that," she said, frowning. "When Jochy's gone, I mean. I-- usually I'm ma at him when he leaves, though, but it's sort of...it's less-suffocating when he's gone. I don't mind being suffocated so much, it's not that. It's just...it sort of gives me more of myself back."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 04:33 PM
Niabheara coiled up at the far side of the bed. Judging by her expression, she was not quite following Elaine's line of reasoning. "Suffocating isn't much a word I'd connect with love," she said doubtfully. "I can fathom it, a little. What would you have done, if you had what you liked? Would you have him here, and decent, or gone?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 04:47 PM
"Here and decent," Elaine answered, without any pause. "I want him; there isn't any question of that. I just...he has nightmares. Horrible nightmares. When we're together, they're not at bad, but he still wakes up. And there's the parasite, and I'm always afraid it's going to creep back into my brain and I want it gone from him for good, but I don't know how to make it go. And Judith hates him, and my father doesn't like it when we're together."

She rubbed her cheek. "She called me a tart for staying with him the night he was really bad. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and I think everyone else would be happier if I just left him alone, but I've seen the inside of his head, and it would be...cruel, you know? I can't. And I still know-- I don't know if all the effort in the world will make him turn around. It's work. When it's just him and me, usually it's perfect, but being around him makes things harder, not easier."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 05:07 PM
Niabheara squeezed her hands around her elbows. "I knew he had nightmares. I remember those. And the parasite, but not so much. I didn't really understand them when he explained it to me then." Her voice became a bit resentful; she laughed coldly. "Then again, I was six when he explained, and he wasn't much for recounting later."

Resentment ebbed into lighter, more thoughtful concern. "I believed that too," she said. "That I could help him. When I was small, it was . . . nice, in its way. He seemed a man, so much older than I, but he treated me as if we were equals, and I suppose I came to believe we were. But he went away for so long . . . I forgot him. I went on to other things." She paused. "I wish he had not come back."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 05:16 PM
Elaine grimaced. "He made me feel that way too," she answered. "Like I mattered. My opinion mattered. Things I said mattered. That was part of why I...you know, started feeling that way about him to begin with."

She bit her lip, sighed. "I remember you when you were a little girl," she said. "And that's weird. That's...everything's mixed up in my head about you. Would you..." She hesitated. "Would you have him back, now, if you could?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 05:23 PM
"Not now, no." She shook her head. "Not anymore. He would try to get himself involved against Titania, and she'd kill him with no thought--the way you or I might crush an ant." Her lips flexed in brief repugnance, while her eyes gleamed. "Unless she found a use for him. You remember me; do you remember Auberon? They met once, he and Jochy, but I do not remember much of how it went. I don't believe they passed more than ten words together at the time."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 05:28 PM
Elaine shook her head. "Man with the horns?" she asked. "Not really. I...I remember the big parts. The important parts. You, Seth, the demon, his father. Things that moved him and changed him, I guess."

Her eyes flicked toward the door. "You've already got one person doing that," she observed quietly. "Is Jochy any different?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 05:38 PM
Niabheara gave a small, unpleasant smile. "Aye, the man with the horns." She ran her tongue across her lips as if to wipe away a bitter aftertaste.

"In that respect . . . they're not so much different, Jochy and Marcello. Save that Marcello understands what's been happening, and he is much more practical than Jochy would be in the same circumstances. He's not so much driven by his passions as I believe Jochy might be." She touched the stone of her torc again. "Still I would not see him harmed."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 05:45 PM
Elaine frowned, looking uncomfortable. "If you could have one or the other...? I mean, if you could choose between them? I don't know how much of Jochy choosing me is him seeing you with another man and thinking you're happy and not wanting to mess it up."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 05:57 PM
"I hold by my lights," Niabheara replied. "Jochy and I would end badly, war or none, Seth or none, Marcello or none. I know him well enough, and I know myself." She gave Elaine a small smile. "I'm a selfish creature. There's little enough I claim as my own, but what there is, I will not share. He wouldn't stay with me."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 06:06 PM
Elaine grimaced. "And that's the difference, then," she said. "If I'm the sea-witch, I can't keep him with me all the time. We both know that."

She bit her lip. "I don't know where we-- what we do now," she said. "I've never really talked to anyone about anything like this before. I mean, not somebody I didn't think was judging me over it. What d'you want to do about your Queensman, then?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 06:13 PM
"Find a way to tell him, and soon. There is no other course. I don't want to lose him, but neither I would tie him to me with false promises." She sighed and hugged her knee again. "And you?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 06:17 PM
"Wait, so you don't love him, but you want to keep him?" Elaine asked, looking utterly confused. She shook her head. "Never mind. That's not my business. I--"

She rolled her eyes. "All I want to do is kick Starling in the teeth. At least it makes things easier for me. I just have to wait till I see Jochy again and see how he's done. I promised him he could kiss my feet if he lasted two weeks," she explained. Then wrinkled her nose. "Oh, god, that sounds weird, doesn't it?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 06:27 PM
"He's my friend, Elaine. Do I have to be madly besotted with the man to grant him the simple courtesy of honesty?" She made a face, before she softened. "Please don't kick Brammie anywhere until I've had a word with him. Really, this is not like him at all. I would rather have both sides of things."

Then she very nearly smirked. "Kissing feet, after what he's put us all through? Sounds perfectly reasonable."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 06:30 PM
"Oh, Jesus, and he's going to insist I jumped on him. That's what he said, was that he was following my lead, when he's the one who stuffed my hand down his pants."

"Um. Sorry," she said sheepishly, before smirking back. "That was the idea, with Jochy," she assured the other girl, looking rather pleased with herself. "I decided that if he wants me, he's got to earn me back. I hadn't thought of the implications."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 06:38 PM
"You're appealing to his stubbornness," Niabheara said wryly. "He'll manage it just because the challenge alone implies he can't, or else burst a vessel in his temple trying. He's like Mother that way."


Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 06:42 PM
"Exactly," Elaine said. "It's the only way to get him to follow through on something." She sighed. "You see the problem? If I change my mind before he's done..." She made a face. "You know he'll crash."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 06:51 PM
"And if you keep your bargain then you've compromised yourself." For the shortest of moments a sort of thin, nearly translucent pall fell over the countess's features; she looked as if she had just heard the clash of a battle from a long way off. She wiped her hand over her face, and the look passed. "At home it's a lady's privilege to set challenges for their suitors, and to drop them when it pleased. It's almost expected to drop them. It's always struck me as frivolous. Cruel, e'en."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 06:55 PM
"That is cruel," Elaine agreed, making a face. "I don't want to do that to him. I don't. I just-- I sort of know I'm still just a kid, right?" she said. "And I'm scared of making bad choi-- hey, are you all right there?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 07:02 PM
"Hm? I was listening." She blinked twice at Elaine and settled back into her former watchful position. "I don't think he will, um, crack?" She tipped her head to confirm she had used the right word. "If he's not yet from all other circumstances, I don't think that anything you can do to him would be enough."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 07:07 PM
Elaine shook her head, looking solemn. "I don't mean-- I mean he'll go back to sleeping with whatever he can get his hands on, lying, cheating...you know. He won't have a reason to try to be better. And the parasite-- it was getting stronger, he was sort of messed up when they put the part that crawled into me back into him, and...we had to cut open his tattoos. They're better now, but...and his father's trying to meddle again. I would hope it wouldn't make him crack, but I'm afraid. He almost did, back in the Wreath. The things he does when he gets down? Those just add to the parasite, make it worse."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 07:17 PM
Niabheara sucked on her bottom lip. "The parasite . . . it's separate from him, do you know that? His father told me once. It's a mirror of the original one, the . . . well, you know about the first one. Jochiem. But it still affects our one in the same way, much as if it were real. Meaning there must be some way of prizing it out, if only . . . how did you manage it, when it was in you?"

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 07:24 PM
"I know," Elaine said. "I didn't understand why they couldn't pull it out of Jochy," she explained. "I only got a little bit of it. And it's more than just having it in you; you have to be a proper host to it. Jochy's father made him into one on purpose. He made him feel hurt and loneliness and betrayal and all the things that would make him into...like a garden laid out with manure. I'm just hard dead dirt to it," she said, shrugging. "I haven't had a perfect life, but I'm not unhappy. I don't only see the bad in things."

"I met Jochiem," she informed the older girl. "I went to his home, and we had pizza. But the only way to get it out of me was to have the part inside Jochy suck my part out and go into him, too. I think if we wanted to get it out of Jochy, we'd have to find an even bigger parasite to suck his up. And cut his wards again. It would be dangerous."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 07:38 PM
"There's always the firstborn again--but that only puts it off, it doesn't destroy it. There's his father." She had fallen into Jochy's habit that any mention of Melekain came with a tight jaw, as if she had been forced to speak an obscenity.

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 07:39 PM
Elaine's eyes went bright. "Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 28 2008, 07:40 PM
Niabheara blinked in surprise. "I am now. And he would come. I think he's looking for me, too."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 28 2008, 07:43 PM
"We need Jochy close, too," Elaine pointed out. "Not just you and I; we need the parasite and the man." She winced, her expression becoming troubled. "He likes me. I think the two of us, we could lure him out properly, but we'd need to know what to do after that."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 29 2008, 04:42 AM
Niabheara suddenly let out a small strangled scream and bent forward, hands on her temples. "Paugh! Why must these things always happen in clusters? I can't do this; I can't do anything like until Cnoch-na-Niall is settled. I swore that would be the foremost an I could e'er get back. And Mother would likely kill us both for so much as considering it."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 29 2008, 04:47 AM
"She wouldn't kill us," Elaine said assuredly. "She explained to me. I think we're both at the age where she has to let us touch the stove to understand why it burns us. I just-- no, no, I understand," she assured the redhead. "We'd just have to figure out a way to get Jochy and his father into the same place. It'd take more planning than we have time for, because I'd want to worm some more about the parasite out of Jochy's father before we tried anything. You know, to be prepared."

She nodded. "I...I don't have a war on, but I know how that feels. I got shot, kidnapped, had to have the parasite cut out of me, and my papa got attacked by pirates all in the same week." She frowned. "I guess that's not as big as anything you've got. But it adds up."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 29 2008, 04:56 AM
"I'm sorry. It's getting hard to think about anything except what I'm moving into. What we're moving into, now." She shook her head. "What's been happening here? I knew your father was in prison when we arrived, but Mother has this habit of deciding what's important for me to know and what's me being curious about things that are none of my business."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 29 2008, 05:06 AM
'Don't apologize," Elaine replied. "You have a war to worry about. And that following fast on the tail of that demon bastard."

She feigned spitting. "Creepy son of a bitch. Um...what parts? How much? I mean, I know you met Papa before I met up with him, but before we got here-here? Well, we all came in because Papa was arrested because they killed some cult in Lorrain? I wasn't there for that, either. Judith was-- we were supposed to be treasure-hunting before the call came in that they needed help. Before that, I guess...before we met up with you, we had been in the Wreath and Judith introduced me to all her old pervert friends. One of them stole her kidney, one of them liked watching me eat apples, and you met Commandeur Moreau-- he's not so much a pervert as he is just old and coughs blood. The one who stole her kidney was the one who fixed me and put the parasite back into Jochy. That was just after we met up with Seth. Jochy got possessed with the wraith we took out of my grandfather."

She bit her lip, looking at the older girl. "I kept wanting to use the mirror to warn you about what was going on here. I mean, with Jochy. When he was possessed. Because I was afraid he'd come after you."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 29 2008, 05:14 AM
"Granted, at the time we would've been either in Leabharcham proper or else trying to leave the Erins, so I doubt he would have found us . . . but you couldn't have known that." Niabheara frowned and propped her hands on her knees. "Why didn't you tell us, then? I would have . . . something. I would've liked to have known, if nothing else."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 29 2008, 05:20 AM
"Well, I didn't know," Elaine admitted. "I wanted to, because then? You didn't know about me, and I didn't know about your Queensman, and I was worried Jochy would..." She shrugged. "Take advantage might be the wrong words. Conveniently edit the story to his own advantage might sound better." She made a face. "It wasn't all his fault; it was part the wraith, but I had a bad feeling he'd go to you and tell you he'd returned to Seth and Seth had turned him back out. Which would have been enough true for him the way he was then. And I wanted you to know about the wraith. But I-- I didn't particularly take well to some strange girl speaking invisibly to you and telling you she'd been sleeping with him." She shrugged. "And Judith warned me not to. She said it wasn't a good idea-- no reason. But I don't know; she might have known where you were."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 29 2008, 05:32 AM
"She did. I believe she spoke to Morgana when I was . . . unavailable." The thought still irked her. "No reason. Of course. Why should we expect reasons? It negates the whole point of communication."

Niabheara rubbed her hands along her knees, staring at her own hands. With her thumbnail she scraped away a dried flake of chocolate caught in the crease of one knuckle. "By then . . . I think I had other things to worry about. But no, it was not a good time. I can hardly imagine when would be." She bit the inside of her cheek. "howe'er it may stand, Elaine, I have no claims upon the man anymore. And nothing against you, despite my snapping at you before."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 29 2008, 05:40 AM
"She might've known, if it would put you in jeopardy, or you weren't able to speak," Elaine agreed, biting her lip, and then she smiled at the older girl. "I know that," she assured her. "And I wouldn't come between your friendship, should you want it. I-- I'm actually happy I came up here," she said, grinning at Niabheara. "I was sort of afraid you'd be a little stuck-up. You're not at all."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 29 2008, 05:47 AM
"Between Jochy and Mother, I didn't know what to expect of you, truth be told," she replied, a little shyly. "You still hold the advantage o'er me in that respect: I keep feeling I need to explain something before I remember that you already know. I . . . almost want to have something against you. But I don't. It's very odd."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 29 2008, 05:54 AM
"I'm still not totally sure why your mother chose me to be her apprentice," Elaine admitted. "I mean, I don't think I'm the type somebody would really choose for that. But I'm trying. And I know," she agreed. "I feel a little guilty, like I don't deserve to know as much as I do, but I can't--" she scratched her head. "I can't really help it. It's all in there. I don't know anything since Jochy left you in Cnoch-na-Niall, though, if that helps. You can still tell me everything that happened till I talked to you on the mirror sometime."

She pulled herself up from the bed. "I mean, if you want to," she said earnestly. "Are you going to be all right? You-- um, if you ever need somebody to talk to about things who isn't your Queensman, I wouldn't mind."

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 29 2008, 05:57 AM
"I would like someone to practise my swords with?" Niabheara asked hopefully, then admitted, "Marcello's no good. He won't strike properly for fear that he might actually hit me."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 29 2008, 06:01 AM
"Oh, no one else on this ship has that problem," Elaine replied, grinning, and she pulled up one of her sleeves, showing off a nasty bruise. "I've got the marks to prove it. I'm not-- I'm not very good, yet. But I've got falling down to an art."

She grinned. "You want me to go find you one?" she offered. "Or have you got to deal with affairs-of-state now?"

Posted by: Niabheara ni Dowd Apr 29 2008, 06:03 AM
Niabheara slithered off the edge of the bed, with an uneasy glance at the door. "I might better go tell my Queensman what's been going on," she said. "I don't want to know what's been going through his head waiting. Later, though, aye, of course."

Posted by: Elaine Romain Apr 29 2008, 06:05 AM
"Just find me," Elaine said, as she headed for the door, giving her a little wave. "Good luck with the Queensman. I'm going to go rat on Starling for keeping a chicken aboard. It's about the best I can do for revenge without getting him in serious trouble."

She grinned, waved, and left the Countess on her own, shooting a final smile over her shoulder.

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