Niabheara bit her lip. "I wish I knew what to tell you but I don't. Meg would be so much better at this than I. She's done this. I haven't really. All I can do is tell you what I know, which is that no matter what you choose, someone will love her. Someone will take care of her. And someone's going to take care of you too."

Miranda rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand. "I wish that were really true," she said. "Life doesn't work that way. If it did, none of this would have happened in the first place."

"Well it did happen and we must decide something." Niabheara's tone was sharp enough that the baby started whimpering again. Niabheara sighed, shifted it to her other shoulder, and gave it a tiny kiss on the cheek. "You don't have to decide everything now, of course," she said, a bit more gently. "We only wanted to let you know what choices there were."

Miranda gave her a pained look. "What are the choices?" she asked, sounding genuinely uncertain.

Niabheara had to pause and recollect what the choices were. "You stay here in Cnoch-na-Niall, with the baby; you stay here in Cnoch-na-Niall and I start inquiring for a family for the baby; you go elsewhere and Marcello and I take care of baby, or you go elsewhere and I still start making inquiries." She bit her lip, frowning. "I think those are the basics. There's Cormac's people, too, but . . . to be frank, I don't know if they are in any better condition to care for another baby than your family is. It would like as not come down to me sending support, which I don't at all mind doing. But if that is going to be the case, I'd just as soon she stay in the household."

"Well, that would be up to Cormac, I suppose," Miranda answered. "I don't know. I'd just as soon be rid of her, but..." she grimaced. "That sounds horrid, doesn't it?" She looked unhappily at the baby. "I don't hate her. I just don't want her."

"It's not horrid. It's just sensible. It's not fair that you should have to take care of a baby you don't want at all when there are a dozen people in the castle who would take her home tonight, if they only knew." She looked sad.

Miranda swallowed. "I look at her and she's so beautiful and I feel like I should feel something, and then I think that maybe I could just...I don't know, marry Cormac, even though I just want to pretend to sleep when he visits, and be a good mother, but I just...I don't. I thought parents were supposed to magically love babies."

"It would be nice if they did," she said softly. "I don't know. It's different when you really want them, I suppose. Not when you have them thrust upon you unexpected."

"Everyone else loves her," Miranda said quietly. "They just look at her and their eyes light up, and they start cooing and look just thrilled by her. I'm the only one who doesn't feel anything. And I'm the only one who's supposed to."