"Not while I'm making you toast," Dierdre chided, turning the fork over the flames. "Anyway, you'll probably do something stupid and pop your tooth out. Maybe after we eat we can sort something out with the joggling."

"Is that a touch of jealousy I detect in your voice? And if not, can I pretend it is?" He tried to smile, but his jaw was actually started to swell too much. He lay down again instead. "I was only half-serious about being desperate, you know."

"Very jealous," Dierdre answered. "I can't flirt with pretty young girls and you can.". She shook the toasting fork over a plate and brought it over to him. "oh dear," she mused. "I might have to take back my offer. You look fairly hideous. Can you even eat toast?"

He shut his eyes, then let out a groan and took the toast. "I don't even feel like glamming it. I don't want to look at it." His jaw did not hinder him in tucking into the toast. He scooted over to give Dierdre a place to sit. "I'll flirt with them on your behalf. Just point at one. I'll go and work your will upon her." He sighed. "It will be a sacrifice but anything for my lady."

Dierdre looked skeptical. "And then they'll fall madly in love with you. That's what always happens in those stories. It isn't so bad. I'm teasing. It just looks like it must hurt."

"It's not bad," he said in a reassuring tone. "I was afraid he was going to pull a blade so I toughened up before he could touch me. It didn't help much but it kept him from breaking skin."

Dierdre's brows shot up. "You can do that?" she asked. "I always thought that was one of those joke things that no one real could do."

"It's not much use unless you need to piss in a nettle patch," he said wryly, but nodded. "Is this one of those things I should put on my list of recommendations, along with the sewing?"

"that you can piss in a nettle patch?". Dierdre whistled. "Oh yes; I'm very impressed. Very very. Who are these recommendations for? I already married you. You can get fat and lazy now."

"In a few more years," he said, patting his flat stomach. "I have to keep in shape for chasing after children."