Niabheara couldn't help but laugh, even though she was afraid every laugh drew her ever closer to putting Goneril off for good. "All of this sounds more or less ideal, Goneril. What are you so worried about?"

Goneril blushed and frowned. "Everything, more or less," she answered. "I don't see how it could be ideal under any circumstances as long as I know I can't stay."

"Ideal under the circumstances," she said, more kindly. "I wish it could be otherwise. We can only work with what we have."

"And what I have is something I wasn't even really aware was possible, which makes it very difficult to articulate what I want," Goneril said. "And it's all contingent on him, too."

Niabheara looked surprised, and a little confused. "What do you mean, what you want?"

"Well, that's the trouble with not being able to articulate it," Goneril said. "At home, the only way to want a man that was acceptable was to want to marry him and raise a family with him. Of course there were people who did other things, but they were always made examples of. If I felt as if I could spend time with a man or even have a love affair and not feel as if it was choosing the rest of my life, I might have felt differently about some of the men I've met. Purely hypothetically, of course. It's not that there is anyone at home. But I know Faolin doesn't want the things that, well, for want of a better way of putting it, I've been taught to want, and I don't know if I really do want those things, or I could want something else."

"That is a little strange to me," she admitted, looking doubtful. "I don't know how I would feel if the only sort of feeling I could have for a man was romantic. That would be terribly awkward." The chilling thought occurred that if Gearoid had managed to kiss her in public with that general attitude, she might have to marry him. She grimaced, swallowing. "I suppose I ne'er thought how it would be, if I didn't e'en have a say in the matter."

"Well, it's not the only sort of feeling you can have for a man," Goneril replied. "It is perfectly acceptable for men and women to have friendships, as long as they're very public and there's no room for anyone to suspect you might be romantic. It's just that if you do have romantic feelings for someone, there are only so many ways that you can show it. And it's a bit improper for a young woman to be the one in pursuit. You're meant to wait for the man in question to inquire after you first. Of course you can show it. You just can't be too forward about it."

Niabheara laughed, weakly. "Here, it's more . . . if two people start seeing one another exclusively for a good long while, then one might rightly assume they're in love. I'm really no authority on this. Most of my trouble was that I was not involved with anyone at all. It was all right when I was child, but I'd gotten to the age where people started to wonder if I was peculiar."

Goneril looked amused, and she shrugged. "Same, with me," she said. "People just decided I was going to be an old maid. I had decided I was going to be an old maid. Do..." she frowned. "Er...exclusively?"