Jochy hated waiting. And, he hated waiting in that tiny, tiny house with all the eyes on him. So he'd excused himself and gone out to the garden to try to clear his head. or rather, to try to meditate down the flock of butterflies that had taken up residence in his stomach. The rain had stopped for the moment, but the clouds hung low enough to brush the rooftops so he didn't think it would be long before it picked up again.

He was sitting down, leaning against the wall with his legs crossed, his coat kept water from seeping into his pants, but still... it was not good weather for meditating. Even though that was supposed to be going inwards instead of out.

Cara wandered out not too long after, and stopped about five feet off, watching him with an affectionate look. "Are you all right?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Jittery. Trying not to be. Did she shoo you off in there, or did you finally run out of questions?" The last was said with a very affectionate tone.

"Trying not to have second thoughts."

"I was worried about you," Cara replied. "Is that allowed? And nobody's going to think less of you for having second thoughts. It's scary."

"Hey, it's appreciated. Never minded people worrying about me." He switched position and ran both hands through his hair. "It's weird seeing her again." He looked around, but nobody seemed to be listening in. "Got used to people looking at me as I am, it threw me a bit to be seen as i were again. Not that I blame her. Hell, there are reasons why she's got wards pretty much keyed to my presence here. And still she helps. Just don't get her. Didn't think they made people like her anymore."

Cara shrugged. "She's a good person," she answered. "And she does it for the right reasons. You have to think, for everyone who does things for the wrong reasons, there must be one person who's the opposite."

"True. But somehow I don't think it evens out." Jochy stretched a little and rubbed his eyes. "Good persons weird me out. Bastards I can handle. Them I understand. Her... I always keep expecting some form of backlash but it never comes. She's seen me at my worst, and still she's willing to let me risk fucking up again."

Cara gave him a wry smile. "Sort of the way they say mothers are supposed to be," she said, a little wistfully. "You say that, but you're not a bastard," she pointed out. "You...maybe it's not the same, but I've never seen you do anything that wasn't for the right reasons."

"You met me when I was going straight" he pointed out with a smile. "Glad yer think so though, I don't fancy going back to who I used to be. I like myself better this way. Hell, people like me better this way. And I like people."

He looked up at the clouds. "You remember when I talked about inner landscapes? There used to be part of me that looked a bit like this. Desolate. Cold. Muddy. Sometimes snowy. Didn't like it. Didn't like that me either. I'm damn glad it's gone."

Cara looked up, and frowned. "I think every inner landscape has to look a little bit like this sometimes, Jochy," she replied. "Things have to die to be reborn. Sometimes we have to be cold and lonely. It's...it's the way life is. Winter is just as important as summer."